Archive for May, 2010

My Music-My Life (Read Me First)

Welcome to My Music-My Life. In this section you can find a selection of my original songs written, recorded and performed from 1979-2006. Where possible I’ve tried to accompany each song with some anecdotal liner notes, lyrics and technical information. Once I get them transfered from VHS, I’ll post the only existing video footage of Café Society, filmed at The Music Machine in Los Angeles in 1985 and features Jon Grimson on bass, Sari Myers on keyboards, Lee Coltman on drums, Dan Levine on trombone, Ann Petereit on trumpet, Jeff Dellisanti on saxophone and myself on guitar and lead vocals. The footage was shot by Irwin Myers.

I hope you enjoy this trip down memory lane.


Day 14: The Boy Who Cried Woolf

ON THIS DATE BACK IN 1925, Virginia Woolf’s “Mrs. Dolloway” was published by Hogarth Press—the imprint founded by Woolf and her husband Leonard in London a few years earlier.

What’s most notable about Mrs. Woolf’s publishing venture is that it represents an innovative entrepreneurial enterprise which started out as merely a hobby where she and her husband began hand-printing books. The enterprise of which I speak, most naturally, is what today we call “Self-Publishing.”

The publishing industry is broad and varied with as many or more titles be released in alternative formats (ebooks, audio books, etc.) as in traditional bound books. And the way authors get their works published and to the reading public has also changed thanks mainly to the internet and the growing number of personal computing devices available.

I self-published my first collection of poetry “My Zayde: A Recollection,” back in 1994 when it was classified as a chapbook or “vanity” publication (though in my case it was also my Masters Thesis Project), and though it was a legitimate book complete with an ISBN number, copyright and barcode, self-publishing back then was still for writers who usually just weren’t good enough to get “a real publishing deal.” Or, as in my case, were producing a work of poetry—which only accounts for about two percent of all book sales in the US.

Today, self-publishing is at the forefront of a series of alternatives that are available for paving the way towards giving writers more opportunities and better control over their work. And thanks to the internet, and on-line start-to-finish services such as lulu.com and Amazon’s CreateSpace, self-publishing is not only made easy, it’s a great way for writers to get their work out there in a timely manner and to start earning some money and, if their marketing savvy is well honed, garner a broad reader/fan base that will not only buy their books but recommend them to them family and friends.

I’ve personally had a go at using lulu.com and without much success to boast of. At one point I had a collection of short stories, two one-act plays, and novella and some poetry collections in English and Spanish online and only sold a few copies of my ebooks. Granted it was a “nothing to lose everything to gain” type scenario, but I’m afraid that the products I had on offer weren’t mainstream or commercial enough to attract buyers…which is precisely why I’m writing a novel!

In the last few days I have signed up with Amazon’s CreateSpace and in the coming weeks will self-publish two titles on my Satin Sky Press imprint: “A Balmy August Wednesday,” a collection of five short stories, and “Pase de la Firma,” a novella set in Spain during the 1920s. These books will be available as standard trade paperbacks, ebooks and audiobooks. They will also be for sale on Amazon.com and on my own website which will be up and running on June 1st.

So like Mr. and Mrs. Woolf, my love of books, reading, writing and publishing do indeed have a place to converge—in the world of self-publishing.

I’m happy to report that I have started Chapter Two of “Smithdown Road,” and will soon be well on my way to my next milestone of 25,000 words.

Onwards and upwards!


There’s A Voice in the World That’s (Still) Crying

♫ LISTEN TO THE SONG HERE ♫

Probably one of the most ambitious projects I’ve ever undertaken, “There’s a Voice..” came together in three days in 1985 during the height of the famine in Ethopia and was a project modeled after Band Aid and U.S.A. for Africa. I had decided to try producing a local project in L.A. and jump on the famine relief bandwagon, which I thought was a good cause and perhaps a way to get some much needed (and deserved) exposure for my band Café Society. I somehow managed to assemble thirty local musicans, free studio time and materials and ten hours of mastering at Amigo, the old Warner Brothers recording studios (where X had been wrapping up their latest album). In three days I had commitments from the musicians, the studios, a screenwriter who offered to write and direct the music video, and from a major record label who was interested in releasing the single. The song was recorded over two magical days that I will never forget. Everything came together so perfectly and the result was a really good single with a lot of passion and integrity. And while the project never received the attention I felt it should have—mainly due to record industry politics and broken promises—the hard work of so many talented people and their enthusiasm and their heart and soul was surely recognized by the big record company president in the sky. To this day I remain ever so proud and satisfied with the song and the recording and am grateful for having had the unforgettable experience, one of the most personally gratifying of my entire life.

Today, 26 years later, a human crisis is looming in the Horn of Africa brought on by drought, food shortages and armed conflicts. It is my hope that this song—whose message today is sadly as relevant as it was three decades ago—will serve to inspire others to raise their voices and spread a little sunshine by spreading the word. Everyone will be better off in the end.

For more information on how you can help, visit http://www.supportunicef.org/site/pp.asp?c=9fLEJSOALpE&b=7542627

˜

There’s A Voice in the World That’s Crying

Music and Lyrics by Richard Morris

Recorded at Sunswept Studios, North Hollywood, Ca. March 1985

Mastered at Amigo Studios, North Hollywood, Ca. May 1985

Richard Morris—keyboards, vocals

Dan Levine—bass guitar

Various Artists—vocals

Produced by Richard Morris

˜

Born into the world all he knows is hunger.

And a helpless child cries out in vain.

Nothing makes sense no rhyme no reason,

A mother soothes his soul but she can’t stop the pain.

There’s a voice in the world that’s crying

But it’s too weak to be heard.

You can spread a little sunshine if you could only spread the word.

For a mother and her children could really use a friend—

Everyone will be better off in the end.

There’s a light in the sky that’s shining.

It’s gonna shine upon a foreign land.

See how strong we’re gonna be when we join together,

‘Cause we’re going to reach out and help our fellow man.

There’s a voice in the world that’s crying

But it’s too weak to be heard.

You can spread a little sunshine if you could only spread the word.

For a mother and her children who could really use a friend—

Everyone will be better off in the end

Feel the pulse of an entire nation.

Let’s join our hearts together, feel them beat as one.

We’re all in this thing called life together

So let’s see the starving few become the starving none.

There’s a voice in the world that’s crying

But it’s too weak to be heard.

You can spread a little sunshine if you could only spread the word.

For a mother and her children could really use a friend—

Everyone will be better off in the end.

˜


Oh, Que Soledad (♫)

This song was recorded during a night-long session back in June 1991 in Sherman Oaks, California. It was the closest thing to a real Café Society reunion and features Craig Nieves (bass), Lee Coltman (Percussion), myself (guitar and vocals) and boyhood friend TWB (guitar, bass) who happened to be living out in L.A. at the time. It was a splendid evening that began at my favorite restaurant—Thai Cottage in Studio City—and wound down close to 4 a.m. following an eight-hour recording/mixing session. This version of “Oh, Que Soledad” features TWB on guitar and bass while I provided guitars, vocals and the 3 a.m. drum program.

Oh, Que Soledad

R. Morris

Hay algo que debo encontrar

La casa esta llena de sol

Pero siento vacío mi corazón

Me miro al espejo soy yo

Pero voy perdiendo el valor

Veo que me hace falta brillo y calor

Oh, que soledad toda mía

Siguiéndome siempre noche y día

Viviendo la vida sin ilusión

Abro la ventana hay luz

Hay un horizonte en la distancia

Voy a ir a buscarte hasta el final

Cambiaré las rutinas de ayer

Moveré mi vestuario al revés

Abriré la puerta de mi corazón

Ya vi que la guerra es el fin

Si algo me toca podría morir

Vi el mundo lleno de equivocación

Oh, que soledad toda mía

Matándome más cada día

Brindándome muerte cuando quiero pasión

Abro la ventana hay luz

Hay un horizonte en la distancia

Voy a ir a buscarte hasta el final

Oh, que soledad toda mía

Siguiéndome siempre noche y día

Viviendo la vida sin ilusión

Abro la ventana hay luz

Hay un horizonte en la distancia

Voy a ir a buscarte hasta el final.


Yalena (♫)

Yalena.mp3 (5378 KB)

This song was recorded during a night-long session back in June 1991 in Sherman Oaks, California. It was the closest thing to a real Café Society reunion and features Craig Nieves (bass), Lee Coltman (Percussion), myself (guitar and vocals) and boyhood friend TWB (guitar) who happened to be living out in L.A. at the time. It was a splendid evening that began at my favorite restaurant—Thai Cottage in Studio City—and wound down close to 4 a.m. following an eight-hour recording/mixing session.

Yalena

R. Morris

Voy tranquilo, lentamente, hacia ti mujer (Yalena).

Iluminas con tu cuerpo todo mi existir.

Vibro al tiempo que estoy rozando tu cuerpo…

Te respiro en mis sueños.

Es tanta el agua del mar que separa mi camino.

Como grande el amor que sentí por tí.

¿Cómo volver atrás y encontrar tu abrigo?

¿Cómo podrás saber del amante amigo?

Tu voz dulce canto, ha descubierto mi niño.

Quiero jugar con tu pelo…y tu vestido.

Mirar tu sonrisa que grita amante amigo…

Mirarte otra vez, Yalena.

Es tanta el agua del mar que separa mi camino.

Como grande el amor que sentí por tí.

¿Cómo volver atrás y encontrar tu abrigo?

¿Cómo podrás saber del amante amigo?



Day 11: A Little Behind

I’VE ARRIVED AT THE 10,000 WORD MILESTONE IN MY NOVEL “SMITHDOWN ROAD.” Although I’m a little behind schedule (by one day and a thousand words), I feel I’ve reached an important turning point—one that says “you’re off to a good start, and now there’s no looking back.”

I’m probably going to do a bit of editing and put the finishing touches on Chapter One before starting Chapter Two tomorrow. I’ve introduced another new character and it looks as though my protagonist will be on his way to England in the next chapter.

I’m finally starting to pick up some momentum and definitely starting to enjoy this, especially the spontaneity of just sitting down and letting the ideas flow and seeing the story come together as if it’s by magic. That’s what I love most about writing, when the story seems to write itself.

So like my friend the pachyderm up there, I’m a bit slow out of the gate, but once I get started there’s no stopping my determination and resilience.


No Olvidar Mi Ayer (♫)

This song was recorded during a night-long session back in June 1991 in Sherman Oaks, California. It was the closest thing to a real Café Society reunion and features Craig Nieves (bass), Lee Coltman (Percussion), myself (guitar and vocals) and boyhood friend Todd Berns (guitar, bass) who happened to be living out in L.A. at the time. It was a splendid evening that began at my favorite restaurant—Thai Cottage in Studio City—and wound down close to 4 a.m. following an eight-hour recording/mixing session.

No Olvidar Mi Ayer

R.Morris

Cuando vi que la vida empezaba a oscurecer

Comprendí que el camino lo tenía que recorrer

La mañana siguiente sabía como iba a ser

Un café y la corbata no dejes pasar el tren

Romperé las cadenas que me atan aquí

Dibujar mi camino con un gis

Dejaré algunas señas por allí

Voy a cantar, volar, soñar por alcanzar

Mi ayer no olvidar.

Pasiones del pasado iluminarán mi andar

Si me das tu mano el mundo descubriré

No esperes que la suerte decida que vas a ser

Me gritaba la vida y no podía entender.

Romperé las cadenas que me atan aquí

Dibujar mi camino con un gis

Dejaré algunas señas por allí

Voy a crecer, tener, y ser lo que deba ser

No olvidar mi ayer.


Desvaneceré (♫)

This song was recorded during a night-long session back in June 1991 in Sherman Oaks, California. It was the closest thing to a real Café Society reunion and features Craig Nieves (bass), Lee Coltman (Percussion), myself (guitar and vocals) and boyhood friend Todd Berns (guitar, bass) who happened to be living out in L.A. at the time. It was a splendid evening that began at my favorite restaurant—Thai Cottage in Studio City—and wound down close to 4 a.m. following an eight-hour recording/mixing session.

Desvaneceré

R. Morris

Te conozco bien.

(Por lo menos eso pensaba).

Voy a descubrir, sigo tratando de saber quien soy.

No se a donde voy o donde estaré cuando caiga el sol.

Ya se fue por tu culpa.

Un prisionero de la isla del amor.

Esta vez es la última, ya no volveré.

Y me desperté.

Había rosas flotando encima.

Intenté volar.

Y encontré mis alas atadas.

Cogí una flor, pero era solo imagen.

Ya se fue por tu culpa.

Un prisionero de la isla del amor.

Esta vez es la última, ya no volveré.

Esto terminó.

Pero el principio somos tu y yo.

Cuando no haya más, de los recuerdos siempre viviré.

Y si se van con las rosas desvaneceré.

Ya se fue por tu culpa.

Un prisionero del la isla del amor.

Esta vez es la última vez, ya no volveré.


Tres Estrellas (♫)

This song was recorded during a night-long session back in June 1991 in Sherman Oaks, California. It was the closest thing to a real Café Society reunion and features Craig Nieves (bass), Lee Coltman (Percussion), myself (guitar and vocals) and boyhood friend Todd Berns (guitar, bass) who happened to be living out in L.A. at the time. It was a splendid evening that began at my favorite restaurant—Thai Cottage in Studio City—and wound down close to 4 a.m. following an eight-hour recording/mixing session.

Tres Estrellas

R. Morris

Tres estrellas en tus ojos brillan así:

Una brilla para ti, otra para mi.

Y la última brillando para los dos.

Dejé mi amor en el mas allá.

Espero que vengas a América.

Espero ver tus zapatos afuera de mi puerta

y tenerte conmigo.

Tres deseos en mi alma para hacer:

Uno es mi vida, otro es tuyo, ya.

Y el último lo haremos entre los dos.

Tu estas en el mas allá.

Estoy aquí en América.

Juntaré piel, fe, alma,

y compartirlos contigo.

Tres estrellas en mis ojos brillan así:

Una brilla para ti otra para mi.

Y la última brillando para los dos.

Tu estas en el mas allá.

Estoy aquí en América.

Espero ver tus zapatos afuera de mi puerta

y tenerte conmigo.

Estamos aquí en América.

Siempre pensando en el mas allá.

Volveremos a plantar nuestras raíces

Y seguir al destino,

y compartirlo contigo,

y tenerte conmigo.


Más Cosas en la Vida (♫)

This song was recorded during a night-long session back in June 1991 in Sherman Oaks, California. It was the closest thing to a real Café Society reunion and features Craig Nieves (bass), Lee Coltman (Percussion), myself (guitar and vocals) and boyhood friend Todd Berns (guitar, bass) who happened to be living out in L.A. at the time. It was a splendid evening that began at my favorite restaurant—Thai Cottage in Studio City—and wound down close to 4 a.m. following an eight-hour recording/mixing session.

Más Cosas en la Vida

R. Morris

Tengo que esperar hasta llegar en la vida.

Sin precipitar para lograr la salida.

No la podría ver si yo voy en huida.

Te amo lo se bien pero después que vendrá.

Que será, que vendrá mañana.

Si estaré, no lo se contigo.

Puede ser no puedo ver lo que pasa dentro de mi.

Voy a tener amigos y amigas solo los tengo que abrazar.

Conoceré más cosas en la vida solo tenía que despertar.

Tal vez te guardaré en un lugar del olvido.

Yo volveré lo se y mi dolor se habrá ido.

Y si ves lagrimas no pienses tu que son por ti.

Que será, que vendrá mañana.

Si estaré, no lo se, contigo.

Puede ser no puedo ver lo que pasa dentro de mí.

Me vestiré de traje y equipaje y lanzaré mi vela al mar.

Quiero hallar un viejo en el camino y que me cuente de su ayer.

Voy a tener amigos y amigas solo los tengo que abrazar.

Conoceré más cosas en la vida solo tenía que despertar.




Me Enseña la Verdad (♫)

This song was recorded during a night-long session back in June 1991 in Sherman Oaks, California. It was the closest thing to a real Café Society reunion and features Craig Nieves (bass), Lee Coltman (Percussion), myself (guitar and vocals) and boyhood friend Todd Berns (guitar, bass) who happened to be living out in L.A. at the time. It was a splendid evening that began at my favorite restaurant—Thai Cottage in Studio City—and wound down close to 4 a.m. following an eight-hour recording/mixing session.

Me Enseñá La Verdad

R. Morris

Bien otra vez…

Tomando la senda del ayer.

Llevando todo el mundo en mis pies,

Con dos rasgos grabados en mi piel.

Uno me dice “te amo,”

Y puedo amar su piel.

Otro me dice “te cuidas,”

Te quiero bien.

Yo te esperaré.

A veces soy…

Un niño que jugaba con balón.

Y de repente vuelvo a ser un gran señor,

Descubriendo nuevas formas al amor.

Uno me toma de la mano,

Y me cruza la ciudad.

Otro me espera en la cama

Me enseña la verdad.



Oh, Que Soledad “Accents” Version—2000 (♫)

This version of “Oh, Que Soledad” was recorded in Valencia, Spain, for an album of international music which was a companion to the broadcast of a local television documentary series “Accents,” produced by Malvaossa Media. Re-runs of the 11-part documentary—in which I am featured—can still be seen occassionally on Spanish television.

The live recording was done in the concert hall at the Spanish Society of Authors and Editors in a single take due to the fact they had to record about a dozen other musicians that morning. While rehearsing I was approached by Mathieu, a young French cellist, who was there to accompany another musician and said he liked the song and offered to add some simple cello bits behond the guitar and voals, which he did after only running through the song once or twice.

Oh, Que Soledad (“Accents” Version—2000)

R. Morris

Hay algo que debo encontrar.

La casa esta llena de sol.

Pero siento vacío mi corazón.

Me miro al espejo soy yo.

Pero voy perdiendo el valor.

Veo que me hace falta brillo y calor.

Oh, que soledad toda mía.

Siguiéndome siempre noche y día,

Viviendo la vida sin ilusión.

Abro la ventana hay luz,

Hay un horizonte en la distancia.

Voy a ir a buscarte hasta el final.

Cambiaré las rutinas de ayer.

Moveré mi vestuario al revés.

Abriré la puerta de mi corazón.

Ya vi que la guerra es el fin—

Si algo me toca podría morir.

Vi el mundo lleno de equivocación.

Oh, que soledad toda mía.

Matándome más cada día,

Brindándome muerte cuando quiero pasión.

Abro la ventana hay luz,

Hay un horizonte en la distancia.

Voy a ir a buscarte hasta el final.

Oh, que soledad toda mía.

Siguiéndome siempre noche y día,

Viviendo la vida sin ilusión.

Abro la ventana hay luz,

Hay un horizonte en la distancia.

Voy a ir a buscarte hasta el final.


Day 10: A Bust

IN MARCUS AURELIUS’S second century “Meditations,” he wrote:

Not to feel exasperated or defeated or despondent because your days aren’t packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human–however imperfectly–and fully embrace the pursuit you’ve embarked on.
While today I have indeed felt exasperated, defeated and despondent, I am signing off today—Day 10—without having written a single word in my novel. Bella kept me on my toes from early this morning and after spilling an entire bottle of breast milk I had to take her to see Wendy at the university for her afternoon feeding. By the time we all got home, had supper and walked the dogs it was time for me to go to my first meeting of Muck Comedy, a group of local stand-up comedians who meet twice a month and organize a variety of shows in and around Liverpool and who participate each summer in the world renowned Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Scotland. By the time I arrived home at 10:30, I was too tired to write and went straight to bed.
So that was Day 10—a total bust— zero words. But unlike Marcus Aurelius’ bust above, my failures are not set in stone and tomorrow’s a new day.
Onwards and upwards!

Day 9: Mother’s Day

I MOVED TO SPAIN for the first time in October of 1987 and spent the better part of two years living in the beautiful, ancient Moorish city of Granada, in Spain’s southernmost region of Andalucía,

It was there in Granada that I amassed the most significant amount of creative writing—mainly what I consider to be “epic poetry”—in my young career as a writer to date. In all, I wrote two collections of poetry—”Calvo Sotelo’s Adventures in Birdland,” and “The Street of Mercy’s Oven”—containing well over 100 epic, or long, poems.

I consider those years in Granada important ones in my development as a writer mostly due to the fact the writing was innocent, uninhibited and mainly created for my own amusement. There, typing on a now considered primitive electric typewriter, I was free to explore, experiment and lose myself in my poetic meanderings.

But those days are long gone as today I seek, as I have for the past two decades or more, to find ways of becoming—as Garp desires in the Irving novel—a “real writer.”

In honor of Mother’s Day 2010, I’ve decided to reproduce here one of the never-before-seen poems from “Calvo Sotelo’s Adventures in Birdland,” written in 1988 and aptly titled, “Mother’s Day.”

Talking to my own mother today—as well as celebrating baby Bella’s fifth month birthday and attending Sully O’Sullivan’s very nice stand-up comedy workshop at the Liverpool Institute of Performing Arts , started by Sir Paul McCartney on a campus which once housed his boyhood school—I had nary the time to work as diligently on my novel as I had wanted, therefore not reaching my anticipated 10,000 word milestone. However I’m confident that I’ll make it up and get back on track during the week to come.

So, as promised…

Mother’s Day (Or Colonel Harmon)

Yes father.

No father.

In one ear and out the other father.

There I was a lonely soldier;

An only soldier there amidst the ranks of deadmen.

And what was I to do with the bodyheap?

The radio went crackling off “mayday, mayday.”

Something has gone wrong with this supposed to be Colonel Harmon.

Please advise on any current condition; please advise.

You’re only but across the alleyway from home, son.

Run there as quickly as possible to advise your colonel father of the massacre.

I dropped the crackling radio with all of its army voices speaking in codes.

Made it through the hall unnoticed;

In through the front door secured the lock.

Father was there on the army band hand held radio.

Mother looking puzzled as ever.

I went on to explain the story of the ghastly murder;

The blood, the bones, the stenches in the trenches.

Father said that he’d just been promoted to the rank of full staff colonel.

How odd I thought, and what became of Colonel Harmon?

Never existed? Could he have been the imposter?

In all agreement the madman would soon be after father.

Let us prepare and be ready to receive him.

We locked tight all the windows and doubled up the doors.

I kept looking from out of my parent’s window to the gangway below;

These murderous, caped, monster-faced villains always seem attracted to

Such gangways.

After careful preparation and a bit of gallant waiting, my hunch had finally paid off:

There he ran caped through the gangway, flew across the street and then disappeared.

I grabbed my cricket bat that sat just beside the door.

I could feel his presence drawing near and nearer still.

Then it came.

The subtle knock at the door.

A trick! Such a light and delicate knock.

Everyone take their places, prepare to go the distance.

I peeked through the peephole and saw the new downstairs neighbor.

An orthodox Jewish woman who looksd much older than she was.

How nice I thought that she should pay us a visit.

But I didn’t fall so easily for the madman’s ploy.

Taking my bat I tucked myself neatly round the corner, told mother to open

The door at the count of three.

I prepared myself for the rush of fear I knew would follow at the first face to face.

The door swung open.

The madman pushed the Jewess aside.

He growled and drooled as I took my first full swing.

Striking, I struck only the door, but struck into the mind of the madman the reality that we had prepared for battle;

A reality for which he was obviously ill prepared.

Now the fight, on to the torment.

Blow after blow, we had the first advantage.

I battered him round a bit and then went to tell father who was still on that

Crackling radio that the madman killer had arrived and that I was battling,

Defeating him quite easily.

I told father that the madman was badly wounded in the front room.

Come look quick father and help me finish him off.

Father came in, surveyed the scene, said how nicely I’d done.

I opened the window and asked father if we should just dump him out.

No said father and hence began the brunt of trouble.

As the madman lay there he transformed his face into father’s,

Began to arise, and what was I to do now?

I looked over to father and saw that he was there beside me.

I took my battled strength and took aim at the madman’s head.

One swift blow and he was back to pain and dying,

Though I was a bit confused for it seemed that it was father’s head I’d struck.

But I remembered that father was there beside me,

It was the madman’s ruse to try and take me for loop.

I bashed and I smashed as if there was no tomorrow,

But it was father’s pain and agony that I felt.

I kept swinging away as he kept fighting for his life.

I couldn’t believe any man or beast could survive this brand of beating.

He squinted and cringed harder and harder with every blow.

I kept on smacking him and swacking him, but this beast would just not die.

Finally, I turned to father but he no longer stood beside me.

Father, where have you gone and why have you left me here all alone?

And what am I to do with this man-refuses-to-die thing?

Where is mother and where is my support?

Could I be killing father or could it be Colonel Harmon?

Is it too late to stop?

Yes. I think he’s past brain damaged.

What do I do now?

The man gripped his own head even harder and tighter.

I raised my bat and struck one last devastating blow.

I looked out of the corner of my eye to see if and liquids or parts of any vital

Cranial organs were visible through the crack I’d made in his skull.

But no, none such things appeared.

Where was father?

Where was mother?

Where was Colonel Harmon?

Who was this man here and did he deserve to die?

Could he have been the murderer?

Could I have been the murderer?

Finally the sound of rain beating down on the roof startled me awake.

I reversed father, the madman, Colonel Harmon—all of them—to feelings of

Mother and feelings of guilt.

How I could I have forgotten such an important date?

Do forgive me mother, for I am but a selfish and thoughtless boy.

Overlook my shortcomings for I serve no real purpose other than this.

Happy Mother’s Day.


Day 8: Roadblock

TODAY I’VE HIT A ROADBLOCK. Had two good writing sessions in the morning and after lunch decided to go back to the beginning of the manuscript and read it over. I’m not sure that was a good idea as it not only distracted me and took away valuable writing time, I ended up trashing a few pages and doing some re-writing that at the end of the day left me with a bit of a deficit of close to a thousand words.

I suppose this was a necessary exercise and I think I’ve learned a valuable lesson about revising the manuscript, which is that I should probably wait until reaching certain milestones (10k, 25, 50k) before spending any serious time revising and editing. After all, my objective here is to finish the manuscript in 90 days, not have a novel that’s ready to hit the bookshelves the next day.

The good news is that I got back on track in the late afternoon and there have been some really neat developments—some added intrigue, even a death!—and I’m happy to say that I really like the new twist in the the story line. I’m not certain that I’ll reach my 10,000 word goal by tomorrow, but I’m going to try and set some solid objectives and see if I can’t get close.

As I say, onwards and upwards. Tomorrow’s another day—Mother’s Day in the US and Bella’s fifth month birthday—and there are plenty of Marks and Spencer’s iced carrot cupcakes to celebration all of the day’s milestones.


Day 7: The Real Thing

ON THIS DATE BACK IN 1886, Coca-Cola first went on sale at Jacob’s Pharmacy in Atlanta, Georgia. Today, with some 94,000 employees worldwide, The Coca-Cola Company offers more than 400 brands in over 200 countries or territories and serves 1.6 billion servings each day. Books, by sharp contrast, sell at the rate of approximately 15 per second, which calculates into about 1.3 million sales per day.

I’ll be the first to admit that an icy-cold Coke goes down better with a grilled veggie burger or slice of greasy pizza than War and Peace or Wuthering Heights, but I wonder where society’s gone wrong in its attempt to get people—especially young people—to read more. The amount of money that soft drink companies and fast food chains spend to fatten up our kids is obscene. And ask yourself this: when was the last time you saw an advertisement hawking books directed at young people? Probably never, because for all intents and purposes they don’t exist.

Now I’m not trying to suggest that Coca-Cola is to blame for kids not reading. In fact, Coca-Cola pledged about 18 million dollars a few years back to the US Reading is Fundamental (RIF) campaign to encourage literacy in children. Okay, so it was tied into a deal giving Coke a juicy multi-million dollar marketing deal with the Harry Potter film franchise but their efforts did go towards an aggressive campaign aimed at child literacy.

I’ve been giving a good amount of thought over the past couple of days to the question of how we can get our children reading more, but the competition is stiff. Game consoles, computers, the internet and television all vie for our kids’ attention (and their parents money) with massive advertising campaigns and the lure that technology has. Sure my own kids have their Gameboys, PSPs, PlayStations, laptops and iPods, but they also have a decent collection of books—and in two languages covering a variety of genres. But there are kids today that never pick up a book and that’s a shame. I surely don’t have to go into all the benefits reading has but for parents not to do more to get their kids reading is simply beyond comprehension.

Today I’ve been thinking about whether or not my novel, “Smithdown Road,” will ever be published. What I am pretty certain of is that my children will eventually read it. Maybe yours will too. And while reading may not be as exciting to some kids as, say the latest version of Grand Theft Auto for the PSP, surely parents could add in a few more books to their household entertainment budget. Maybe they could even have designated reading times throughout the week (at least during the times when all these devices are recharging!).

At lunch today I drank my first Coke in about a month—one of these new 150ml mini cans (about one gulp and three and half swallows)—while eating a veggie burger and fries while reading the election results in the newspaper. So in some ways things do go better with Coke. But for me, books are “the real thing” and here’s hoping that we can find new ways to get kids reading more. Maybe the solution is out there in some new technology, or in cyberspace. But until book publishers smell the coffee and get with the program and launch more aggressive marketing campaigns aimed at young readers, I’m afraid that literacy is doomed. And so are, though I dread saying it, books as we know them today.

Finally, after two days with varying Pomodoro use, I’m back using the 25-minute timed sessions which is working very well. Another thousand words today brings me another step closer to Sunday’s projected 10,000 word mark and the end of chapter one. It may be another month or more before I drink my next Coke, but by then I’ll have hit the 20,000 word mark and it might be time for a sip or two of champagne. Happy birthday Coca-Cola. Here’s to “making it real.”


Day 6: Pure Determination

TO MOST PEOPLE READING THIS IN THE U.S., the three men in the photo will probably be unrecognizable. And that’s okay, it’s not as if they’re important or anything—they’re only British politicians. And one of these stiff upper lips, by the end of the day, will be the new Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
British politics, from a purely American point of view, is completely and utterly boring. To say the least. Oddly, the British pride themselves on their very lack of electoral razzmatazz. And not only are British politics boring, British politicians are boring. Okay, so maybe they’re not boring but they do lack charisma—severely.
For the first time in British history, political debates were held and televised live. I have to admit they were quite interesting—entertaining even. But it was more than obvious that the three main party candidates—incumbent Gordon Brown (Labour), David Cameron (Conservative) and Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrats)—spent a good deal of time watching YouTube videos from previous U.S. presidential debates as the soundbites and sharp-tongued comebacks were as Clinton and Obama-esque as baseball and apple pie.
But for all their lackluster, what these three men do possess—which I believe transcends charisma by leaps and bounds—is pure determination. And it’s that unmitigated blood and guts determination that I seek to discover within myself and exploit as a writer. The Spanish have a saying, soñar es gratis, which literally means dreaming is free. Well so is fantasizing, procrastination, fear and slothfulness. What I admire most about these men—and it’s something you find in pretty much all heavy-hitting politicos—is that apart from their pure determination, they possess a completely irreproachable and infrangible belief in themselves. In other words, self-confidence on steroids. And it’s that absolute self-confidence that I lack as a writer and performer; self-confidence that I believe separates success from failure. Which brings me to mediocrity.
The dictionary defines mediocre as that which is of only moderate quality; not very good. However I would fervently dispute the legitimacy and accuracy of the second definition, “not very good.” I would defend mediocrity (mine overall) as “that which merely eludes achieving greatness.” Moderate quality, after all, is what makes the world go round, and greatness, in my opinion, is highly overrated anyhow. Sure there are the Steve Jobses, Michael Jacksons, Stephen Hawkings and Oprah Winfreys of the world, but there are also scores of unsung heroes that each of us encounter in our everyday lives. For example, how many of you have ever listened to the music of Ian Lloyd and Stories, or read the novels of David Leavitt, or been left in stitches by the comedy of Jeff Wayne. Three small examples of the wealth of talent that exists on this planet, too ginormous to even contemplate.
At breakfast today I had a thought. Perhaps my writing’s just not eloquent or articulate enough to achieve mainstream success and popularity. In other words not good enough to win Nobels or Pulitzers. But what if, on the other hand, my novel was good enough—perhaps even better than good enough—to become required reading for young teens and high schoolers or be adapted for the big screen (or little screen)?
Finally, this whole question of determination and success comes down to two factors: focus and definition; being able to not only focus, but stay focused on the big picture and then ultimately defining what success means to you. Sting is focused. Sting is obscenely successful. Sting, throughout his long and illustrious career has shown more pure determination than any celebrity I have ever known. Jason Soudah, on the other hand, surely unknown to most, is a brilliant, young, Welsh singer-songwriter whose music simply oozes from his determination to create beautiful music. So where does this leave me? I will say I’m determined, but I lack the discipline and focus that are the keys to achieving mainstream, commercial success. Would I be happy for success that falls outside of those parameters? I don’t have an answer as of yet, but I realize that I should start thinking seriously about one.
Day six and I’ve broken the 6,000 word mark and inching closer to the end of chapter one (finally some music has been revealed!). Planning to do some early revising this weekend and will celebrate both Bella’s 5th month birthday and my first 10,000 word milestone. No hung parliament here, just some good old fashioned determination.

Day 5: Happy 5(000) de Mayo

I’M NOT ONE OF IGNACIO ZARAGOZA’S ZAPPADORES. At least I wasn’t the last time looked.

Not to be confused with Mexican Independence Day, which, by the way, is September 16th, Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.

Today, I’ve won a little battle of my own in reaching the 5,000 word mark in my novel. But they say that winning a war is all about winning battles and obviously there are some battles lost along the way to victory. But today is about celebrating the small victories, like hitting the 5,000 word mark in my novel…

Now you’re probably thinking that 5,000 words is no big deal. It’s not actually. I’ve actually cranked that many words out in a single sitting—I’ve translated twice that many words from Spanish to English in a day—so it’s not much of an accomplishment unto its own. What it does go to show is that it is possible for me to stick to a plan. And while it may be too early to call this experiment a success, for me the mere fact that I’ve reached day five is significant because it represents my having gotten past the biggest obstacle of all—getting started. And if past successes are any indicator of future ones, there’s the certainty of knowing that once I get started—really started—there’s no stopping me.

In the Battle of Puebla, the Mexicans were outnumbered two to one by the French and totally out gunned, but when the dust settled French general Charles de Lorencez carried away more than 700 dead and wounded soldiers, the Battle of Puebla went decisively to the Mexicans. But that was only one battle and a year later French forces captured the capital of Mexico City, forcing the government of Benito Juárez into exile in northern Mexico. Now while I’m not planning to lose many battles here, all the great generals throughout history have had one thing in common: a good back up plan. Mine is to count on the support of my friends and family. But perhaps not in the way one might think. My plan simply involves telling as many people as possible that I’m writing this novel. What will that accomplish? For me, everything. If there’s one thing that goes against everything I believe in, that would letting other people down. So the simple psychology behind my thinking is that the more people I tell that I’m writing a novel, the more people I would potentially be letting down by not finishing it. Sounds a bit crazy I know, but hey, whatever works…

Finally, the photo of me above was taken in Tijuana, Mexico in 1967 when I was barely four years old. I haven’t changed much since then—a bit taller and fuller around the mid section—I still wear funny hats (my name isn’t really Pancho!) and still have a child’s heart filled with hope, dreams and unbridled enthusiasm.

Onwards and upwards!


Day 4: Show Me the Money

I’M NOT A PACK RAT, collector or a favorite this-favorite that kinda guy; I have had a few favorite shirts over the years—a Calvin Klein flannel that I bought in L.A. circa 1985 that I wore down to the threads and finally had to throw away some ten years later—and I do have a favorite coffee mug (seen here, though it’s used mainly for tea and Ovaltine). I bought this mug as an undergraduate student at DePaul back in 1989 and it has been a constant companion ever since, by my side through thick and thin, in three countries and more than a dozen different homes and as many jobs. I think often and fondly about my college experience and feel privileged to have earned not one but two university degrees at DePaul, which in my opinion is a truly upstanding institution of higher education. My only regret is that my undergraduate degree is completely useless. Now I’m not suggesting that being a playwright is an ignoble profession, it’s just that unless you’re independently wealthy, Neil Simon, or dead (Shakespeare, Moliere, Marlowe, etc.), you probably won’t make a penny as a playwright—and I say that from 25 years of experience. The other way to approach this is doing what Kafka did, get a horribly boring and tedious day job and write at night. That might work, but keep in mind that Kafka didn’t have a wife and three children to raise (or Facebook for that matter!). Besides, look what happened to poor Franz anyway, wrote a couple of masterpieces that he told his best friend to burn and then he died at 40 never having achieved any sort of fame, fortune or recognition during his lifetime. I mean, that’s what it’s all about, right?

So here I am at 46, and while I’ve outlived Kafka, David Mamet still gets more fan mail than I do and Eve Ensler—who’s written barely half the number of plays that I have is only famous because she wrote a play about her vagina—enjoys an entry in Wikipedia and a long list of awards and honors despite being relatively unknown to the masses.

I only mention my university degree to drive home a simple point, that being that I am over $100,000 ($120,218.07 to be exact) in the rears on paying back my student loans (more than half in interest,penalties and fees). I can almost overlook the fact that my degree in Playwriting is useless, but what’s really enraging is that my ex-wife with her undergraduate and graduate degrees in Biology and a Ph.D. in Medicine and Molecular Biology from European universities paid a miniscule fraction of what I paid for my “quality American liberal arts degree. And I guarantee you that she’s making more money than Eve Ensler (not really, but she should be!). And adding insult to injury, my college teachers hated me and thought that my writing was crap. Which is why (once again) I blame the system. There should have been and should be a disclaimer for the dreamy eyed students enrolling in these programs: THE DEGREE YOU ARE ABOUT TO UNDERTAKE IS USELESS AND YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER EARN A PENNY IN THE REAL WORLD. No one ever said to me, “Oh, a degree in Playwriting—WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS?!…

So taking a tip from Mamet (who’s earned his millions in the film industry), I’m going to try my hand at writing novels. But not for the sake of merely writing novels. You see, I love the theater and it’s my hope that once the novels become best sellers and are adapted into blockbuster, Oscar-winning films, I’ll be able to, in my old age, adapt them for—what else—the stage.

But before that can happen I need to carry on with the task at hand—Day 4 of “Smithdown Road,” which from where I’m sitting, and to use another Beatles metaphor, is looking more a long and winding road, was a huge challenge as Wendy travelled to The Hague for the day and returned quite late at night having left me attending to Miss Bella for a record 18 hours straight. It was a good day in the end and I was very productive, I turned in my articles and photo spread to The JC and managed to tick off all of the chores on my to-do list. In all I manage 1,116 words and feel I’m closing in on the end of Chapter 1.

Will I ever pay off my student loans? Probably not. Does that make me socially irresponsible? Probably. But I will offer this tidbit of advice to the U.S. Department of Education: Instead of offering deadbeats like me loan “rehabilitation” and “consolidation” to help in “remedying my defaulted student loan status,” why not work to ensure that students enter into more practical, sensible and career sustaining college careers in the first place at least giving them chance of finding a decent job in a field they’re suited and prepared for. Playwriting is great but should be left to Shakespeare, Mamet and those few golden hours after coming home from a hard day’s work when you want nothing more than cozy to up with the kids, enjoy a romantic dinner with the missus and curl up on the sofa to a nice film. Mamet’s “House of Games” will be on tonight at my house so stop by if you’re in the neighborhood. And bring a bag of organic popcorn.


Day 3: A Little Green Slab of Clay

WRITING IS A LOT LIKE WORKING WITH CLAY.You start out with and idea and a green slab of muck and if you roll it out, stretch it, and shape it just right it will eventually take the form of something. Unfortunately everything we create doesn’t turn out to be as big a success as say, Gumby and Pokey or Harry Potter, and more often than not our creative output yields nothing but frustration, disillusionment and defeat—and that’s if we’re lucky.

Monday I somehow managed to churn out 1009 words in three non-Pomodoro sittings. It’s not that I wasn’t focused—I was quite focused—but seeing how it was a bank holiday in the UK and Wendy was home from work, I had a lot more free time than I anticipated so I took full advantage of writing on my own terms and spending a little more time than usual on research and fact checking.

I feel that I’m really off to a good start and feeling positive that there’s a story beginning to take shape as a result of the coordinated effort between what my brain thinks and what my fingers type.

Tuesday will be a real challenge as Wendy is off to The Hague for the day—leaving at 5 a.m. and returning at 11 p.m. So 18 hours with Bella and my JC article due in the morning so I can count on being tied up until at least noon. My only concern for Tuesday is that refrigerated breast milk doesn’t run out. Or my patience for that matter…


Day 2: With All the Trimmings

DAY TWO WAS CHALLENGING FROM THE START. I was as up early as usual—about 4:30 a.m.—and should have done my first writing session but I decided that seeing how I’d be having a long day (I covered a day-long event, Liverpool Limmud, for The Jewish Chronicle) I went back to bed. By the time I woke up again, at about 8 a.m., there was only time for breakfast and dog walks before having to catch the 78 Halewood bus to Liverpool Hope University where the day’s event was taking place. The Limmud Day finished promptly at 6 p.m. and I walked the half mile or so to the Liverpool Jewish Tennis Club where a festive Lag B’Omer holiday BBQ was to begin at 7 and where I wanted to grab a dozen or so photos (and a delicious grilled veggie burger with all the trimmings!) before heading home. I got home to find Wendy and the baby walking the dogs and after we got upstairs I called the Spanish contingency to see if they had arrived safely from their family weekend in Madrid and to tell them about my exciting and exhausting day. In keeping with the BBQ theme, Wendy brought home a bag of one Walker’s newest potato chip flavors—American Cheeseburger—one of 15 new flavors in Walker’s latest contest. The internationally “flavoured” contest asks consumers to pick their favorite new flavor—Spanish Chicken Paella, Itaian Spaghtetti Bolognese, Australian BBQ Kangaroo and French Garlic Baguette are a few of the flavors. After chomping on the chips, settling down to a cup of green tea and bouncing Bella on my knee for a few minutes, I sat down and wrote just over a thousand words with relative ease and fluidity. As I felt focused and determined, I didn’t use the Pomodoro timer for this session but I worked for about an hour nonetheless. The story is beginning to take shape but I still sense that these are very early days. I’m becoming concerned that my rigid writing schedule feels somewhat unnatural and that the many hours in between sessions is giving way to filling this time with a million different ideas about where the story is going. I remember writing the five interconnected short stories in “A Balmy August Wednesday” in about three weeks back in the summer of 2008 with no outline and quite frankly no idea about where the thing was going. It was, and in the purest sense, a completely organic and spontaneous work. I suppose I’m worried that all this rigidness and planning will serve to undermine the spontaneity that has always been an essential element of my writing. I imagine only time will tell.

Onwards and upwards!


Day 1: Tools of the (Jack of All) Trades

OFF AND RUNNING. I did my very first writing sessions using the Pomodoro Technique today and I’m quite pleased with the results: 1,124 words combined from my morning and evening sessions. It was very straightforward, two 25-minute blocks after breakfast and two 25-minute blocks about an hour before bedtime. I used a little warm-up time this morning to quickly review the first 1650 words that I had written previously as a “booster” and made some technical changes to a couple of key elements in the introductory storyline. I imagine the next few days will be more or less the same though tomorrow, Sunday, I’m covering a day-long event for The Jewish Chronicle so I’ll need to get somewhat of an early start on the morning session. Wendy’s off on Monday as it’s a bank holiday here in the UK but I anticipate keeping on task. The challenge begins on Tuesday when Wendy will be leaving for an all-day trip to The Hague and I’m on baby duty from 4 a.m. until Wendy returns at 10:30 p.m. I’m confident that I’ll be able to stick to the game plan taking advantage of baby down time to keep the house, baby, dogs and writing in check. I’ve also decided to try and squeeze in about an hour a day of research and fact checking as the novel is chock full-o details about people, places and dates that must be as accurate as possible (or close enough for jazz anyway!). Onwards and upwards!


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